Who really makes a difference in our lives?

Another forwarded e-mail to think about - really...

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Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
Name the last five Heisemann trophy winners.
Name the last five winners of the Miss World contest.
Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor or actress.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.

Easier?

The lesson?

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards.

They are the ones who care.

Ice Cream for the Soul

A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes - provided one doesn't suffer from diabetes or tooth ache ;-)

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Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good. God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!"

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"

Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"
As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

"Really?" my son asked.

"Cross my heart." Then in theatrical whisper he added, indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing, "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.

He picked up his sundae and without a word walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes, and my soul is good already."

- Anonymous

The 90/10 Principle

Sorry about posting more forwarded e-mails than usual lately.
A few reasons (excuses?):

1. We are moving to Putrajaya this weekend, so we're busy packing everything up... In fact I might not be posting anything tomorrow onwards until next week.

2. There's a personal big function coming up which makes me feel a bit - dysfunctional ;-) Yes dear friends (with whom I have been in touch lately), I am referring to that function la...

3. Even bloggers are entitled to our own bouts of bloggers' block, right?

So - here's an old forwarded e-mail re-received for your perusal

The 90/10 Principle

What is this principle?
10% of life is made up of what happens to you.
90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.
We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%.

The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.

After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home. When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D.
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why?
Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge! Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off. Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90/10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90/10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result?

Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache.
There never seem to be a success in life.
Bad days follow bad days.
Terrible things seem to be constantly happening.
There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships.
Worry consumes time.
Anger breaks friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest.
Friends are lost.
Life is a bore and often seems cruel.

Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged. You can be different! Understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

It will change your life.

The wonders of Pulau Redang

Pearly white sandy beaches, crystal clear turquoise sea, brilliant underwater world, spectacular starry nights, breathtaking sunrise… Pulau Redang is all that – and more…

Some of the team-building course activities actually reminded me a little of my days in PAC - ice-breaker session, random grouping, brainstorming, a quickie performance, etc. The jungle trekking on the second day was quite easy – completed in just about an hour.

But my first experience of snorkelling at Teluk Kalong and Teluk Mat Delah was something else – notwithstanding the initial adjustment (felt like I’ve drank 3 gallons of salty sea water) of having to breathe using my mouth. To describe how it felt feeding various kind of fishes of various colours from my own hand and floating among them is beyond description – the wonder, the marvel of being among Allah’s beautiful underwater creation. Words do no justice to describe the fascinating marine critters of different shapes, sizes and colours amidst an assortment of coral tables. Yes, my first experience of snorkelling was almost perfect.

Snorkelling was not the only activity on my ‘first-time’ list during my first visit to Pulau Redang, There was that fun banana boat ride where we were purposely ‘drowned’ (after properly attired with life vest, of course) in the open sea. While most of us fell off the boat only once, two girls fell down twice and the only guy in the ride – the one seated at the end of the boat – fell down thrice. (On a scale of one to ten, the fear factor for the ride would be about 3 with all the twists and numerous attempts by the boat puller to unseat us) Then, I also tried out single kayaking for the first time ever. Shahri, my kayak partner during OBS training in Lumut a few years back would have been proud to note that I remember a few little tricks that he had shared back then.

I could go on and on and on about my short stay in Pulau Redang – so here’s a peek at what I saw and experienced… (minus the underwater wonderland…)

What we saw on the way to Pulau Redang from Merang

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Where we stayed in Pulau Redang



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Where I kayaked to



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Where we arrived upon finishing the hour-long jungle trekking



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One of the two boats that took us to the snorkelling bays



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All smiles! Mostly first-timers on Banana Boat... and most don't know how to swim



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Fear Factor= 3



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The four survivors (who only fell once)

Everyone is fighting a hard battle

He sounded a bit bitter when he told me that one of his sisters might not be back to attend an important family function.

“Nak seribu daya, tak nak seribu dalih. If money is the real reason, I won’t mind letting her use my own money first. But no, she asked for this function to be postponed as though everyone must cater to her needs.”

“Well, money might not be an issue to you, but she might look at things differently…”

“I know she doesn’t want to attend the function, but I can’t buy her lame excuses. At least my brother who’s teaching in Terengganu gave me a valid reason for not being able to make it because the function is held on a Sunday and that’s a working day in Sunday and he can’t afford taking too many days off. She though, is not living that far and it won’t cost that much for her to return and this is a really important family function, yet she told me she won’t be able to attend it until after she got her salary. What kind of excuse is that?”

He sounded really, really frustrated. He came back all the way from abroad to attend a similar gathering in honour of this particular sister a few years back and found it difficult to accept that she won’t be attending this function in his honour due to ‘money problem’.

On the other hand, I had a feeling that it might just went deeper than ‘money problem’. This particular sister had introduced him to a girl in her neighbourhood. He befriended the girl, and even agreed when his family asked him to ask for her hand in marriage. But just before they became formally engaged, he had a change of heart and stopped his mother from sending the engagement ring to the girl’s house. That incident of course really, really hurt the sister’s feeling.

Quietly, I remarked, “Look, I know how important this function is to you. I know you would be happy to have all your siblings present during the function. But you may want to consider that there might be some bitterness on your sister’s part after what you did. Yes, I do know that you feel strongly that the girl was not the one for you and you have more right to decide who you want to be with. But imagine how embarrassed she must be when she was the one who introduced the two of you in the first place. She must had said a lot of nice things about you to that girl – but in the end, after what took place, she must have felt mortified by your decision.”

He kept quiet for a while, then he changed the topic.

He has his own battle to fight. So does his sister.

I supposed Plato made a valid point when he reminded us to “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

#####

On another note, I’ll be away – attending a team building course in Pulau Redang – until Sunday. Am very excited for this is the first time I’ll be going to a nice island in the East Coast. Can’t wait to try out snorkelling!!! And we’ll be doing some jungle tracking too… Bestnye… bestnye…

Thinking Outside the Box

Here's a classic e-mail that I've enjoyed reading a few years ago - and enjoyed re-reading recently.

A Thinking Test

You are driving along on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who is sick and about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect man or woman you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to pick up, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady because she needs to get to a hospital right away; or you could take the old friend because he/she once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him/her back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations and think outside the box.

Moral: You are not always the victim in life; most of the time you are the victor looking at the situation from the wrong view! The view is yours to choose.

- Author Unknown

Gmail Invites

I've got 6 Gmail invites to give away.

And I'm in need of a'la Chicken Soup subjects to blog about.

So those interested in getting a free 1 gig e-mail account, just leave your suggestion(s) in the comment box - with your name and e-mail address (if possible try to avoid using Yahoo address...)

Most interesting 6 suggestions will get the invites, insya Allah.

UPDATE:

Dear Readers,

So far only one person who has actually contacted me via e-mail to give her suggestion. Thanks Kit - you've definitely earned it ;-)

I supposed it must be quite a daunting task to come up with a'la Chicken Soup topic, eh? So, I'm changing the task - just leave me a line of quotation that really moved you in the comment box, with your name and address...

5 quotations that is able to really touch me too will get the invites.

Long lasting words

I used to know a guy who called everybody “Darling” – the sweet receptionist, the young clerks, model-like secretaries, and cute female officers.

Since most people presume that I’m of rather serious nature on first meetings, he only started calling me “darling” after a few months of knowing me. No big deal really – but I did asked him not to address me with a supposed term of endearment when it means nothing at all. He immediately stopped calling me ‘darling’ and resorted back to address me by my name.

I guess when some priceless words get to be so easily and casually uttered by someone – somehow they lose the special meaning they were supposed to carry. It is flattering to be wooed and courted with sweet nothings – but when words that carry great significance are uttered so easily after only a short period of time of knowing each other - there’s a hollow feeling to those words. Like they mean nothing at all.

I know sometimes love could happen in an instance, or after a mere day, week, or a month of knowing someone. I know that right now I might be developing some deep feelings for someone who’s obviously nuts about me. But when he confessed his feelings in words that I value highly – I could not reciprocate.

Flattered as I was, I could not help feeling as though those words came too easily out of his mouth – and those that came too easily normally does not mean that much. Worse – they might not be long lasting.

Call me old-fashioned, but I would rather wait until after I got married, to be told of how much I’m cherished, and adored, and loved. Call me a hopeless romantic, but if given a choice, I would rather go through a long and slow courtship – only it must be one that will last for once and always. With words that will last just as long.

Annual Telekung Laundry Service

This year, like the past three years since I started joining this particular Ministry, I had been asked (again) to assist in organising the Malaysia ICT Week (an effort started as Asean Communications and Multimedia Expo – but had been upgraded to Malaysia ICT Week in 2002 as it began to comprise more ICT related events and exhibitions)

Like the past few years, the main event had once again been held in an international exhibition and convention centre in Seri Kembangan. Like the past few years, many junior officers had to be in attendance at the exhibition centre from morning till night on the day before the Official Opening Ceremony and all day long in the exhibition centre on the actual opening day. Like the past few years, we all had to make use of the small and stuffy surau at the end corner of the second floor.

“Kau bawak balik basuh la telekung-telekung ni A.Z. Aku rasa memang orang sini tak basuh – cuma kau je yang basuh setahun sekali, “ Sal suggested.

I took five pairs of telekung back home last year – bleached them, washed them with hot water, treated them with extra softener, got them nicely pressed and returned them back to the surau on the following day. I did exactly the same thing this year – that night when we had to be there for the rehearsal and last minute preparation, I brought back five pairs of telekung home to be ‘serviced’ accordingly.

A friend called as I was about to soak and bleach the not-so-white and stained telekungs. I told him what I was doing and his response was, “aikk, buka kedai dobi pulak ke?”

I know many would have thought what I did was just a bit strange. I know it’s quite unusual to find somebody taking back some telekungs from a public surau just to get them cleaned and pressed and brought them back to the surau the next day. It’s none of my responsibility and people would have thought that it would be the exhibition centre’s duty to keep the telekung clean.

Perhaps, I’ve read too many Chicken Soup books and was simply inspired by some stories which encouraged me to do some free ‘khidmat masyarakat’. Perhaps I just felt like it won’t cost me much to get the telekung cleaned but thought that clean telekung could make a lot of difference for the small-and-stuffy public surau users. Perhaps I was hoping that my little deed would in turn encourage my colleagues to carry out similar deed elsewhere.

Or perhaps I was merely seeking the satisfaction of hearing one surau user making an innocent remark to her friend (who obviously had no idea about my labour the previous night) “Bersih kan telekung kat sini, bukan senang nak jumpa telekung bersih kat surau awam”.

If only they have seen how filthy the soaked water was…

Happy Merdeka

Whoever that claimed that those taking part in the Merdeka Parade has a high sense of patriotism might be right... It is not easy to rehearse for weeks ahead, to wake up extremely early on the very day, to wait for hours until one actually get his or her chance of 5 seconds-on-TV fame. Of course, all of them would get their allowance, free breakfast, chances to meet new people from other organizations, chances to make new friends, chances to laugh at other people's blunders or antics before, during and right after the procession...

Still, after forgotting to put on some sunblock lotion prior to joining the Merdeka Parade on behalf of my office, wearing silly costume (navy blue track suit with black a'la cowboy hat and white sneakers) under scorching hot sun in Shah Alam on 31st August 2000, I have no intention to repeat proclaiming my patriotism spirit through taking part in such procession again. Ever.

Happy Merdeka my fellow Malaysians :-)

Mind Probe

Was suddenly inspired to give this test a try after seeing xman's result...

Here's what I found out...

Your Brain Usage Profile:

Auditory : 35%
Visual : 64%
Left : 55%
Right : 44%

A.Z., you are somewhat left-hemisphere dominant and show a preference for visual learning, although not extreme in either characteristic. You probably tend to do most things in moderation, but not always.

Your left-hemisphere dominance implies that your learning style is organized and structured, detail oriented and logical. Your visual preference, though, has you seeking stimulation and multiple data. Such an outlook can overwhelm structure and logic and create an almost continuous state of uncertainty and agitation. You may well suffer a feeling of continually trying to "catch up" with yourself.

Your tendency to be organized and logical and attend to details is reasonably well-established which should afford you success regardless of your chosen field of endeavor. You can "size up" situations and take in information rapidly. However, you must then subject that data to being classified and organized which causes you to "lose touch" with the immediacy of the problem.

Your logical and methodical nature hamper you in this regard though in the long run it may work to your advantage since you "learn from experience" and can go through the process more rapidly on subsequent occasions.

You remain predominantly functional in your orientation and practical. Abstraction and theory are secondary to application. In keeping with this, you focus on details until they manifest themselves in a unique pattern and only then work with the "larger whole."

With regards to your career choices, you have a mentality that would be good as a scientist, coach, athlete, design consultant, or an engineering technician. You can "see where you want to go" and even be able to "tell yourself," but find that you are "fighting yourself" at the darndest times.

Life is too short to be little

"Often we allow ourselves to be upset by small things that we should forget about at once. Perhaps someone we helped has proven ungrateful, someone we believed to be a friend has spoken ill of us, some regard we thought we deserved has been denied to us.

We feel such disappointment so strongly that we can no longer work, or even sleep.

We lose many irreplaceable hours brooding over grievances that in a year's time will be forgotten by us and everybody else. Let us devote our lives to worthwhile feelings and actions, to great thoughts, real affections and enduring actions for others. Life is too short to be little."

- Andre Maurois as printed in Soundings.

Waking up smiling…

This morning I woke up smiling - to the sound of a particular ringtone assigned to a special someone, who purposely hung up right after he got the connected sign so that I would only be getting a missed call.

A standard Selamat Pagi sms greeting arrived half an hour later -
"assalamualaikum. selamat pagi. dah sarapan? gie keje pukul brape? keje bebaik, ok"
- to which I quickly replied with my own ohayo gozaimas greeting.

This morning I woke up smiling - just like I smiled before going to sleep last night reading his cute "Good Nite" sms, which I’d replied with a simple line of oyasumi nasai.

Lately, my message inbox had been flooded with loads of cute sms. And boy - I sure have been getting lots of missed calls.

Mildly annoying as they could be, getting missed calls serves the purpose of letting me know that I'm being missed and thought about all day long. Thus, I could not help smiling every time that particular ringtone pierced the silence for a brief few seconds.

I’ve quite forgotten how it felt to keep receiving missed calls after every few hours.
I’ve quite forgotten how it felt to keep getting cute sms messages every so often.
I’ve quite forgotten how it felt waking up smiling in the morning…

They sure feel N.I.C.E.

Seems like the adolescent tricks of sending missed calls and cute sms - coming from the right person - could still work some magic on a girl in her late twenties after all…

Making good impression vs coming out clean about the blog

Duan had asked me recently how do I intend to go about with my blogging activities if all of a sudden I found myself committed to rush home early and if my future partner doesn’t approve of my blogging.

I told Duan that I don’t think I shall disclose to a possible future partner about my blogging if I thought it might pose a threat to a budding relationship. Duan warned me that my future partner might not be able to accept a few of my writings well – stuff like ice skating, mountain climbing, my wish to bungy jump. And I haven’t even begin talking about my dream of sky diving and white water rafting…

It makes me wonder – since I have to give some good impression during the initial stage of ‘getting–to-know-each-other’, and Duan felt letting a Mr Possible reading my blog might not leave the best impression of me to him – then, when would be the best time for me to disclose to a possible future partner about the existence of this blog?

Huh?

Pak Abas’s reply via e-mail when I asked him to pray for me to get to be selected for the Mambusho’s scholarship was:

“Ko nak pegi jepun buat ape. kat jaya jusco tu macam-macam makanan jepun ade. gi aje le beli.”

Huh?

A Mother-in-Law, A Daughter-in-Law and A Supermarket

I read this story in "Strange But True: A True Life Japanese Reader" this morning as I waited for all routines completed/test results for my medical check-up. (Yup, the medical-check up I need to undergo as required by the Japanese Embassy for my Mambusho's scholarship...) I thought this one worth a re-told in my blog.

So, here goes:

It was midday during a dry spell in the rainy season when F, 61 came from Zushi to visit the home of her daughter-in-law S, 31, in Setagaya. "Since I'd already come as far as Shibuya, I just dropped by to see my grandchild"

For S, her mother-in-law was more frightening than a demon. S did everything she could to be a good hostess for F. Later, her mother-in-law took S's daughter for a walk.

S breathed a sigh of relief. As she relaxed, S felt hungry, and her eyes suddenly came to rest upon a bag of doughnuts that her mother-in-law had bought at K-nokuniya, a luxury supermarket nearby. F had said that she was going to take the doughnuts home tu Zushi.

S thought at first, "I really shouldn't touch them." But hunger is stronger than reason. She opened the bag and found six doughnuts inside.

"Maybe she won't notice if I eat only one," S thought. She hurriedly ate a doughnut and carefully reclosed the package.

F returned from her walk none the wiser. Quite satisfied with herself, she left for home, carrying the bag of doughnuts.

But sure enough, when F returned to Zushi, she noticed one doughnut was missing. That's when the trouble started.

"I can't believe that, of all the stores in Japan, K-nokuniya would make such a mistake!" F immediately called K-nokuniya to complain. The call dragged on for 30 minutes. F was too much for the person in charge at K-nokuniya.

The first thing the next morning, clutching a single 80-yen doughnut as if their lives depended on it, the sales clerk and the floor supervisor came to F's home to apologize. One way, it had taken them more than 2 hours. When asked, the sales clerk said she had left home at 5 o'clock that morning.

F was greatly impressed. "That's K-nokuniya for you!" she said.

She spread the story around to her friends and S. Of course when S heard what had happened, her face turned deathly pale.

She has firmly resolved to take the secret to her grave.

- Original Japanese selection from "Dekigotology' by Shukan Asahi © Asahi Shimbunsha

Not every changes are for the better

When I read Yusof’s review on Dr Spencer Johnson’s “Who Moved My Cheese” recently, I can’t help reminiscing on my first reading of the book a few years ago. The book, thin as it was, with simple characters and simple words used, has helped in stating the obvious to many – yours truly included, on the way the world has always operate. The world changes (the old cheese will run out and everyone have to look for a new cheese), and we need to change with it; to adapt to changes quickly and adjust accordingly.

Sadly too many people end up stuck, trying to solve new problems with old methods, becoming too problem-oriented rather than solution-oriented. And when everything fails to work, they whine, grumble and blame others – wondering who moved their cheese. The winners though, didn’t just sit back and complain, but they moved as the cheese moved. They realised what used to work well yesterday, might not work as well tomorrow. So they change their strategies, change their routes, change themselves as the constant changes around them took place.

Looking from that perspective, changes seem a good thing. However, just like Yusof reflected upon – not all changes are positive, not all changes could always be considered improvements. When a certain change occurs, it is up to us to determine whether it is a good or not-so-good kind of changes. Sometimes, we do need to be resistant against certain changes and not always change as the world changes.

When I attended Bon Odori Festival in Shah Alam not so long ago, I noticed many brought along the whole family to enjoy the festival. It was the first Bon Odori festival I attended and I took Kak Ham along mostly to enjoy good and cheap Japanese food, as well as enjoying the ala Japanese summer ambience. There we were, happily making instant collection of plastic Japanese summer fans with various labels, bought some Japanese ABC (shredded ice with red beans and green tea syrup) and roasted corn on cob. We even bought some mochi and dorayaki on our way back home – two most popular Japanese wagashi (cakes/dessert) around here (perhaps with some help from the ever popular Japanese cartoon character – Doraemon).

After we finally selected a spot facing the podium in the middle of Matsushita Sports Complex, Kak Ham and I soon found ourselves surrounded by members of another family, the youngest of them some teenagers and the eldest, a frail grandma who might be in her 70’s.

Kak Ham was totally appalled by the rude way the grandchildren behaved towards the weak grandma – how they never respected her wish not to try out some new food. She was old, she was entitled to her own opinion, but the grandchildren practically shoved down some weird looking stuff down the poor grandma’s throat.

“Jom balik,” she asked right after I returned from praying Maghrib in the small and crowded surau. I agreed.

It was when we were on the car that Kak Ham let out some steam about the mean grandchildren she just witnessed.

“They had no respect at all for the grandma. She had told them that she didn’t want to taste it – so why can’t they leave it at that? Why can’t they respect her wish? Whatever happen to the culture of respecting the elders?”

Hmm, I supposed young adults today are becoming highly adaptable and could adjust well to changing environment pretty fast. I supposed some where along the line, they have forgotten that some values and cultures of respecting the elders are for keep and not to be compromised. I supposed since they can adjust and change often, they presume everybody else – frail grandmas included – can do the same without any problem. I supposed along the way, they have forgotten that grandmas are not their peers who they can treat lightly. Grandmas are often more sensitive and easily hurt than mere peers.

But I supposed they just think that grandmas too should change as the world changes. Which may not be necessarily true. Some changes are good - but not every changes are for the better. Grandchildren for instance, should remain respectful - even if they have differing thoughts and opinions - to the elders.

When was the last time you hugged Life?

Another e-mail-I-thought-worth-sharing entry. Enjoy!

It was in the dairy barn where I found my oasis during this Bloomsburg Fair. I so admire the young folks who tend to farm animals. I think they have a greater appreciation for life. They participate in it firsthand. I've watched a young boy help bring a calf into the world and I have seen a young girl walk her prize cow through the line of animals for sale, knowing that her job is done and it's time for it to leave home. It must be difficult.

My favorite scene is to come across a young person lying in the hay asleep among the cows that have settled down for a rest. There, with their heads nestled in a small soft spot along side their favorite cow, I have seen them in a much deserved sleep. Perhaps better at rest there than in their own bed.

I had the pleasure of speaking with a young teenage farm girl at rest today.

"You look so comfortable," I said to her.

"Oh I am," she said. "Life makes it comfortable for me."

"You mean being a farm girl?"

"No, Life! That's the name of my cow," she said smiling as she stroked the cows side.

"I thought they called cows Betsy and Elsie. Why did you call her Life?"

"I discovered life again here. It was the only sensible name that came to mind," she said. "I had been raised in the big city and reallyhated it. Then we moved to the country. Kinda running away from it all.I think my parents called it a mid-life crisis," she said laughing.

"Boy, I can relate to that. I've been in one since birth," I said.

"It was on the farm that I learned to love life again. I was there when Life was born. It was so exciting. My whole outlook on the world changed. So I named her Life. Now, I can say I really love "Life," she said.

"How incredible. You know I write stories and I am always trying to get people to embrace life. To wake up each day expecting the best from it. But they all too often go to bed with so much bad stuff in their soul,and on their mind, that they wake up miserable and expect it to only get worse from there. All too often it does, just because that's all they choose to see in that otherwise perfectly beautiful day," I told her.

"That's too bad. They need to see a cow born, a chicken hatch. I guess they need to wake up early and hug Life!" she said laughing.

"When was the last time you hugged Life?" she asked me.

"I am sorry to say even I have had trouble doing that lately," I said.

"Come here!" she said. Then standing up and stepping aside she said, "Go ahead... hug Life!"

I paused for a moment and dropping all thoughts of looking silly, I did. I hugged a cow

-Bob Perks

How to Survive the PAC

* Notes: This post is dedicated for all PTD hopefuls and PTD wannabes…

Congratulations! So you have passed your PTD entry exam and have been asked to attend the 3-days-2-nights all-expenses-paid-for stay in one of the many campuses of INTAN for the PTD Assessment Centre (PAC), huh?

In a nutshell, PAC is where PTD candidates will be screened almost thoroughly from different aspects of leadership - problem solving, decision-making, time management, team-spirit, creative thinking and such stuff. (I said almost, because it seems to me there’s almost always one or two bad apples surfaced in every batch, which at times made me wonder – why bother going through such thorough scrutiny?)

Screening is done through various activities. There will be lots of team building games, exercises and activities. Much-dreaded (by many participants) public speaking sessions in both English and BM would also be held. Last time there used to be a simple written test in English and BM – but we have been told that this test would not form part of a candidate’s performance score sheet, so I'm not sure whether this test thingy is still on or not. And there will be a talk on the Overview of PTD service or something to that effect. Do pay close attention to this talk - it could provide pointers for the coming interview.

Most observations and marking would be done by some senior officers, while some junior officers would be there as facilitators. Yes, not unlike those leadership courses you have attended during your high school or varsity days, you would be randomly grouped with some strangers. You will make new friends and you might also bump into some old friends. (For a while after we left PAC, my group-mates had bonded well via e-mail, but the correspondence somehow fizzled down after some of us were called for training and some did not make it. Still, it was fun while it lasted.)

The dynamics of the group change all the time with different activities and different leaders – keep your cool, contribute whenever and however possible, never take a free ride. Free riders are often the first to be dismissed as possible candidates for the interview held subsequently.

Be pleasant to everybody – your fellow PTD candidates, the senior officers, the facilitators, the cleaners, pakcik-makcik of Dewan Selera… Take turn becoming the group leader. While it’s important to let your thoughts be heard, it’s just as, if not more, important to listen to what others have to say. Try to remember – good leaders are also good followers.

Be witty. Be serious. Be quirky. Be smart. Just be yourself.

Be original. While many often jump in the bandwagon of choosing hot topics for public speaking – you don’t necessarily have to impress the senior officers with your knowledge of e-culture, murders, overhead bridge structures, or good governance. You can always choose a topic that suits you best – it could be as mundane as the teh tarik culture or napping at work. (Yes, I am speaking from experience – I chose those two topics for my BM and English public speaking respectively…) How you present it would make the bigger difference – so, do try to improve on your public speaking skills. It’s just a five-minute deal – but do practise, practise, practise. Time yourself well and don’t feel shy to ask for pointers from those who seem more confident and poised about it. And don’t forget to check your facts!

Enjoy the food and the environment – INTURA is most well known for its good food, INTIM is famous for its beautiful beaches, IKWAS is not that far from Kluang’ pasar malam and hilly INTAN Bukit Kiara is a good place to start losing weight with all the stairs ascending and descending that one has to do ;-)

So ladies and gentlemen – I hope you will enjoy your stay in INTAN during the PAC. Have fun and all the best!

In case...

In case anybody wondered – well, the internet line at my office went ‘weng’ last Wednesday evening and I was not in the office yesterday – hence the absence of my updates.

In an attempt to assist some long-distant relation of hers, a friend requested me to jot something on my experience of attending a PTD Assessment Centre. That is coming right next, insya Allah

Apparently the Ujanailmu’s webmaster took my comment on my previous entry to heart and send me a personal e-mail, apologizing for the not-so-mint condition of Kota Arialun and lack of Ahmad Patria’s autograph in Legenda Numerius. Dai joubu(No problem). He also thanked me personally for willing to make online purchase and asked if I mind putting up a link to Ujanailmu on my blog to promote it. Since I’ve received the books less than a week after I made my purchase, the least I can do is to give Ujanailmu some boost in my limited capability. So, dear webmaster – as promised, the link to Ujanailmu is on my sidebar right now. However, I still think that it could be even more interesting if you could come up with a button for Ujanailmu…

For those who might want to know what’s the latest with my Mombusho’s scholarship application, well, alhamdulillah, I’m pleased to let you know that I’ve been notified that (notwithstanding the interview I thought I fumbled) the Interview Panel have decided to nominate my name to the Japanese Government for the final selection. Yokatta ne? I’ve missed out on the opportunity to go for Umrah with some close relatives to sit for the Mombusho exam in June, made an extra effort for the interview last month and I REALLY, really want to do my Master’s degree in Japan so very badly… From the 800 who’d applied for the scholarship this year, about 400 were called for the exam; about 90 were called for the interview; about 40 were nominated and only about 30 will finally get it. Please pray that I’ll be one of those who get it, okay?